Apple has the financial influence of a not-even-that-small country at this point. The company’s $194 billion— yup, $194 billion (over ₦38 trillion)!— puts it on par with the GDP of a country like New Zealand, surpassing the GDPs of Vietnam, Morocco, and Ecuador (I’m officially stressed now).

If Apple were a country, it’d be the 53rd richest country in the world. Let that sink in.
Apple could easily buy:

1. Uber
2. Tesla
3. Twitter
4. Netflix
5. Dropbox
6. SnapChat
7. Airbnb
8. SpaceX

…and still have $30 billion left (I’m now in tears)

If we won the lottery today, Daniel and I, we totally know how we would spend the money. But we are going out on a limb here, and assuming that maybe Apple doesn’t really know how to spend theirs. I mean, not every time sensible investments, sometimes splurge.

Anyway, that’s why we are here. Here are ten things Apple could buy with the money, and don’t ask why, ask why the hell not?

73, 000 Charles Hollander Chess sets – $600,000 each

320 carats of black and white diamonds. Only seven of these luxury chess sets have ever been created. Apple can pay them extra to make more.

Apple has 73,000 employees. If you get a chess set, you get a chess set, and everybody gets a chess set; Apple still has $150 Billion left.

65 Oprah Winfreys – $3 billion each

Because everyone needs an Oprah. Even Apple.

5, 550 1962 Ferrari 250 GTOs – $35 million each

The 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO became the most expensive car ever when it was sold in the United Kingdom to a private collector.

Why does Apple want this? Why not?! How else would middle-aged Tim Cook get around?

The Top 5 Most Expensive Football Clubs – Total of $13 Billion

Apple could buy Real Madrid ($3.4 Billion), Barcelona ($3.2 Billion), Manchester United ($2.8 Billion), Bayern Munich ($1.85 Billion) and Arsenal ($1.3 Billion) and still have $181 Billion left – to buy new players; and have billions left. Because, why not?

A huge Chunk of Tokyo City, Japan

Tokyo is is the most expensive city in the world. Business real estate in Tokyo is close to $10,000 per square metre. Tokyo is 2,187,000,000 square metre in size. If Apple were going to buy a city – or a part of a city, it might as well be Tokyo.

7,760 Haute Joaillerie Watches from Chopard – $25 million each

While it looks more like a glittery mess than anything useful for telling time, this diamond studded watch apparently struck somebody’s fancy…and wallet.

For the next sets of Apple Watches, maybe.

Antillia Mumbai – $2 Billion

Named after the mythical Atlantic island of Antillia, this house in downtown Mumbai, India has over 600 full time staff.
Headquarters for Apple HQ in India. They’d still have $192 billion to use for furnishing. And competition. [LOL, I kid, Apple doesn’t have competition]

Burj Al Arab – $650 million

I don’t know. Honeymoon location for Apple staff? Maybe, I don’t know. Do they do honeymoons?

39 History Supreme Yachts – $4.8 Billion each

Made with over 100,000 kg of gold and decorated with everything from T-Rex bones to miniature meteorites this unfortunate case of what-the-heck-do-I-do-with-5-billion-dollars is owned by an anonymous Malaysian businessman, probably Robert Kuok.

Why would Apple buy this? I don’t know. It’s expensive, that’s why.

Extinct Huia Bird Feathers – $10,000 each

Just a single feather from the extinct Huia bird went for almost $10,000 at an auction in New Zealand.

So if ever Apple wants to release an iBird, they have a supply of expensive, exotic feathers.

We are walking away now, Daniel [whom I wrote this post with] and I, not to think about our lives or anything; We are going to watch Avengers: Age of Ultron. You should too. It would cheer you up.