Shola* had one terrible work experience that changed how she approached every job opportunity. While she’s also had great moments in her career, she shares how she found the strength to work again after such a difficult chapter.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like working?
I’d say it depends. If I enjoy it, eight; if I don’t, two.
What qualifies as a work you enjoy or don’t?
Mostly the team. I already like what I do but if my team lead or my team members are very rigid, I find it hard to thrive in such an environment and I start hating what I do.
Interesting. What do you do?
I write SEO content, manage a blog and edit books. Occasionally, I do creative writing like stories or brand stories.
Can you share the work experiences that stood out for you in the two instances?
I’ve worked with a very vibrant team. It was a friendly environment where we shared ideas, and came up with awesome ideas. We had an amazing boss who would discuss life issues with us during lunch at the cafe.
Basically, we were given a chance to grow and at some point, I was allowed to lead my own team and do my own thing because my boss wanted to see how well we could handle leadership positions.
When I left the job and had to take a contract job with a company I won’t mention the name, it was a disaster. Mind you, I’ve been writing for as long as eight years especially copies and creative works.
This company asked me to start monitoring their competitors; at first, I thought it was to get ideas and innovate right. But every time I came up with ideas to at least create brand visibility, since it was part of what they employed me for, they rejected the ideas and wanted things to be done the same way they’ve been doing it.
One time, I was told to write copies for a new product. The team lead who had no background in writing rejected all my copies. During a team meeting with the boss, the team lead started complaining that she didn’t know what I was doing and she didn’t think I could actually write to save my life.
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That felt like a blow, I started doubting all my life’s work.
In the end, my copies were used, but this didn’t stop me from doubting my life and career. It go so bad that the team lead told me during our weekly meeting that the company shouldn’t have hired me, and that no company would ever hire me because of my lack of writing skills.
So I asked why they made me monitor their competitors only to reject all the ideas. She told me to stick to the old ways they do things.
Meanwhile, I was coming from where ideas and innovations was key, here I was getting shut down regularly, and every content rejected was later published.
One day, I decided to use ChatGPT to do all the writing, she still told me that I was bad. I became so scared of weekdays, especially Tuesdays and Thursdays that I had to work from the office.
I wasn’t looking forward to work, I wasn’t growing cos there was no challenge and no opportunity. By the second month, I submitted my resignation letter and they accepted. I felt so free and relieved.
Now, I like to select people I work with or for because I have very low self esteem that I’m working on, so I can’t have people making me doubt myself. I might not be very good but I know I try my best.
When I left that job, it took me a while to actually recover my from all that negativity.
Wow! This is a lot! Sorry about that. What did you do to purge yourself of the negativity?
I went back to reading all the feedback I’ve gotten from all the jobs I did in the past. I don’t know why I was doing that but it helped bring back my self esteem and gave me hope again.
I was too scared I wouldn’t get job anywhere else and probably all the things I did up until that moment were rubbish. I googled myself, read about myself, read what my former bosses had to say about me and I was able to come back on track.
It affected me to the point that I was scared to find jobs or new clients but I realised that I wasn’t really the problem. The company liked to talk about 2013 and 2015, but the world has moved past those years.
I also had to tell myself that it’s one of those crazy experiences you get working with people. I mean, I’ve worked with someone who told me my work can’t be used and never paid but went ahead to launch the book and published it, made a lot of money and got all the commendation but I didn’t get a dime.
So I was able to bounce back.
Amazing! This is an intelligent hack to rediscovery. How did you think to do that?
I was thinking about my entire work life, maybe it was a lie, so I decided to check for myself. I started from LinkedIn and kept going from there. It really helped me because in the end, it was one person against many.
I love that for you, by the way.
Thank you!
You’re welcome. Which one have you had the most? Good or bad experiences?
Good. After that experience, I’ve never had anything bad again because I became very selective. I’ve rejected clients and job offers from the tone of the interview.
That experience is something I don’t want to ever have again. I doubted my entire work life. When I told my friends that I resigned, they had to go and google the company that made me resign from a job.
What are the signs that give toxicity away during the interview?
During interviews, when I interact with people, I know. There are interviews that from the first conversation, it’s flexible and relaxed.
Even when I answer questions and say something funny to lighten the mood, the reaction I get says a lot. The interviewer could also say something to lighten the mood and create a relaxed environment.
I should have noticed from that job interview that it wouldn’t go well. I should have suspected with the way they were on and on about dos and don’ts, what they wouldn’t tolerate, and what I shouldn’t wear. I saw the red flag but I didn’t pay attention.
You had to find out the hard way.
Enough bad stories. Can we end with another good experience you've had in your career?
Oh yeah. I started working with this company and their policy is simple, they preached growth for both employers and the company.
During meetings, while we waited for others to join, we would gist and talk about life in general before we got to business. The environment is so relaxed and friendly, we all look forward to meetings.
If people don’t do their jobs, instead of negative reviews and criticism, we “drag” ourselves. The dragging helped because even when a person is dragged and we laughed, you know there’s a serious undertone and everyone avoided dragging.
The way you’re been corrected is polite and even you will be eager to do better.
This is good.
I hope you get to have more better experiences. After all, you need all the sanity you can to work well.
Honestly, now I get commended for a good job, I can ask questions when I need clarification. Although still a bit scared, I can still share ideas.
* - Not real name
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