At 27, Chioma* has already made it to a senior role at a Nigerian tech company and has an offer she's considering from a foreign company. Yet, the more she accomplishes, the more she questions if she deserves to be where she is.
Tell me about your early days in tech.
I didn’t start out in tech, actually. After school, my first consideration was to get a marketing role. But, seeing how things were playing out, I did a bit of everything: writing, social media management, and even event planning. In 2018, I stumbled into tech.
I began taking online courses in frontend development. To practice, I was building small websites for some of my friends. Thinking of it now, they were horrible. I didn’t think much of it then; but it kept me busy, and I got better.
Sometime around the ninth month, I shared one of my projects on LinkedIn, and someone noticed. A senior software engineer from a fintech company reached out, and I got my first offer as a junior front-end developer. That’s how it all started.
Interesting! But did you feel prepared for the role?
No oh. I was completely overwhelmed at the start. I was the youngest on the team and the only lady in the department. I'll be in meetings and hear people discussing what I didn’t understand. There were days I felt like crying after work. In fact, I cried on many of those days and asked myself what I was doing there. It was really a high-stress environment.
Sorry about that.
I think it was necessary. I knew I had to do something about it. No one told me before I started taking more courses. I talked less during stand-ups so I didn't embarrass myself. I just wanted to get better. It was only a matter of time before that started happening. I get to contribute more and do my tasks with less stress.
But then, something weird started happening. Every time I achieved something, there was a small voice in my head telling me, “It’s just luck. They haven’t seen the real you yet.”
Ah! Why do you think you felt that way?
After so much thought and speaking with friends, I think it’s a mix of imposter syndrome and how people treat me. Actually, it’s not like I’m insecure about my skills. I know I put in the work and I know what I'm doing. But there are moments when I question if my achievements are truly because of my abilities or because people liked me.
It does not even help that I usually get a lot of compliments about my looks and how my smile lightens up the room and stuff like that. While I appreciate them, sometimes they make me wonder if they’re taking me seriously.
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Ok, I remember something else now. So, I had three interview stages. During the second interview, the departmental head who was supposed to be grilling me on technical questions ended up chatting with me about my favorite books. I thought it was going well, but I got the feeling that he was more interested in getting to know me personally than in testing my skills.
Maybe I'm overthinking it, but till today, I’m not sure if it’s because I did well in the interview or because he just liked me.
That's serious. How did you handle this?
So, I decided that if people are going to like me for whatever reason, I should better use it to my advantage. Sometimes, I joke around saying, "woh, at least being a fine girl should have its perks."
I decided I'd let them underestimate me, but I'd keep proving them wrong with my results. But, to be sincere, it’s exhausting sometimes. There’s a lot of pressure to always be better, to keep proving that I deserve to be here. But I don’t just want to be that fine girl who got lucky, you get?
I get you. But hope it's not affecting your job.
It’s complicated, especially as I move to the top. I’m in my third role now, and I’m one of the youngest senior developers in the company.
When I look back, I see how much I’ve achieved, but I’ve also struggled to fit into the leadership roles I’ve been given. I can't believe these feelings have stayed with me for so long. I hate that it has. When I say things during meetings I hold with junior developers and interns, it feels like people are nodding along just to be polite. This kind of thing messes with my head.
I don't even understand the way I'm doubting myself these days. I'm sure you want to ask why I've stayed in the company for over six years if that's how I've been feeling. It's because I've been turning down opportunities in lead roles. I’d tell myself I wasn’t ready, that I needed more experience.
That's sad. Have you thought about how to get out of this?
Funny story. Recently, I played into the hands of a senior colleague I connected with at an event a long time ago. He talked to me, he was so mean. But, I think I needed it. After achieving all I had by 27, he asked me why I was hiding, that I was sabotaging myself because I was afraid of being seen.
So, what did you do after the conversation?
For a start, I stopped shying away from networking events. It’s funny, because a lot of times, people recognise me before I introduce myself. I used to shrink at those moments, thinking, “Who knows what they've heard about me?” But I quickly catch myself. If they’ve heard about me, then I must be doing something right.
So, you're getting better then, right?
Well, I’m still figuring it out. I’ve started taking on mentorship roles because I want other young women to see that they don’t have to choose between being taken seriously and being themselves. I’m also working on a passion project to help girls in underserved communities learn to code. All these I've done in the last seven months.
But on a personal level, I’m still battling that voice in my head. I don’t think imposter syndrome ever completely goes away, right? I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m here for a reason. I didn’t just stumble into these opportunities — I earned them. And if I have to keep proving that to myself every day, I better do it.
Any advice for others going through the same struggle?
I might sound like a hypocrite now, but I'll still say it. Don’t let anyone make you feel small. Whether they underestimate you because of your gender, your looks, or your background, always remember that you belong.
Speak louder. And when that voice in your head tries to convince you that you’re not good enough, shut it down with your work. Because at the end of the day, your talent and determination will speak louder than any other thing.
By the way, I decided to take a shot at a foreign tech company and now I've gotten an offer, I'll make sure I accept the offer and not change my mind halfway 🙈🙈.
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