Ochuko! A tale of Warri’s sharpest guy and Buka 322

May 16, 2016
2 min read

Based on true events.

Hot Afternoon, Somewhere in Lagos. Ochuko is what you call a typical Warri boy. He is the kind to argue that Warri is the capital of Nigeria, his mother still wonders who did this to him. Think ‘I go die’ has a Warri accent? Think again.

There are those afternoons when the sun is so hot (every afternoon actually), coupled with that I-Cant-Feel-my-skin kind of hunger.
Ochuko staggered into Buka322 like a drunkard, sat and loosened his belt. “Abeg nak me semo, three wraps, with two roundabout and one cowleg wey get muscle”. He smiled to Iya Sikira while observing the “yellow pawpaw” fine chick that sat opposite him, “once a sharp man, always a sharp man”

He smiled at the plate, his gulps phenomenal of a man whose motto was “Na wetin man chop e take dey go heaven o”.


"Zap" and he had levelled the mountain. When he put his hands in his pocket to pay for himself and “Yellow pawpaw” his reggae turned to blues so quickly, his nose started sweating.

“But shey na this trouser I wear yesterday?”

“But I collect change from conductor nau?”

“Yellow pawpaw” was already beginning to wink at him.

“E don tey boys wash plate for buka o, how I go take beg Iya Sikira now!” He thought. He picked up his phone and scrolled for who to call… “kpomo men full my contacts, these ones no get money!” He hissed until He saw his brother’s number; “Make Oghenewede pick this call abeg” He muttered.

“How far, you fit burst me small cash, I dey one kind emergency” He said confidently.

“Erm see, I go send you Verve Paycode now, type the code for ATM, and e go give you cash” Oghenewede replied.

“You can’t guy a guyman now, which one be Verve Paycode again?”

“Bros, paycode na new service from Verve. When you download the Verve World app for your phone, just register, generate the Paycode with the app or just dial *322*8*AMOUNT# then you fit dey give your guys Paycode and them no go need card to withdraw the money!”

“Leave long talk for that former senator, send me the paycode sharply”.

Word still has it that Ochuko collected “Yellow PawPaw’s” number, once a sharp man, always a sharp man.

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